


all the above, past and present

by orphan_account



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Swimming, Childhood Friends, Growing Up Together, Incredibly self indulgent, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, Summer, Swimming Pools, swimmer!jeno
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-29
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:42:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22947223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Jeno gave his first medal to Renjun.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno
Comments: 17
Kudos: 159





	all the above, past and present

**Author's Note:**

> there might be a lot of inaccuracies since im not a swimmer athlete myself but I Tried also english is not my first language so bear with weird sentences and grammar errors. lastly, every number at the beginning of scenes mean to be their ages.
> 
> title from hyukoh's gondry.

21

The whirring of the fan in his bedroom had become some sort of white noise at the back of Renjun’s head. The wind coming from the opened window by his desk rustling the translucent curtains, it billowed slightly and its shadow danced on the wooden floorboards. Renjun pushed his hair back when the gentle breeze wafted past him and made them fall in front of his eyes. The sun was high in the blue, cloudless sky and Renjun smiled, it looked so much like a vast bottomless swimming pool.

Renjun grabbed his now room temperature-d apple juice box and sipped it from the straw as he brought his attention back to his laptop. It was set in full screen, broadcasting in real-time Fina World Aquatics Championship that was currently held at Nambu University Municipal Aquatics Center in Gwangju.

The place was just as grand as how the pictures on the internet made it to be; it was bigger than the local swimming pool, obviously, and had a very large seating capacity. It was what Jeno told him through the short late night phone call after the boy had done with his night training session, tired voice muffled by the pillow as Renjun attentively listened from the other end of the line. Renjun had nonchalantly agreed at that, but now he could confirm that the said place did look vast and immense even from his decent laptop screen. 

As the small hand pointed at the two, a voice announced that the men's 100 metre freestyle was about to start. Renjun absentmindedly brought his knees closer to his chest to hug it and inhaled a deep breath. It did little to nothing to calm the beginning of his erratic heart beat.

The voice came back to announce the athletes names as they came out and walked to their respective lanes. Renjun gripped his apple juice box tighter and loosened it when he had his eyes trained on Jeno almost easily.

Jeno placed himself behind his starting block and undressed from his swim parka. He looked more in shape than the last time Renjun saw him a couple weeks ago before he went to Gwangju for the training camp. It put Renjun’s mind a little at ease, knowing that, despite all the whining Jeno did about the healthy dish he had to consume everyday and how he missed eating chinese take-outs, the boy took a really good care over his body. Not that Jeno had any other options but it reassured Renjun that everything would go well as long as Jeno did his best which was something the boy really good at in terms of swimming.

A whistle broke Renjun’s reverie and he regained focus back to the screen of his laptop. After enough stretching, athletes began to wear their swimming goggles and step up to their respective starting blocks. Renjun exhaled through his mouth as the camera zoomed out and shot the game from the top.

He would never be able to get used to this.

For as long as Renjun remembered, he had watched all of the swimming competitions Jeno had participated in—both directly from the venue or through a streaming link—and experienced all kinds of nervousness in the process. He had been through this for years. He had watched Jeno swim since they were younger than this. He had watched all the games that lead through this day's final and yet, still, the jittery would always come and linger throughout the duration of the game together with clammy hands and lip biting. But despite all of it, he knew Jeno had prepared himself well. He knew whatever the result was gonna be, it would be the best coming out of Jeno.

Renjun's eyes followed Jeno as he bent to a start position; right foot at the front and the other towards the back as his hands grabbed the end of the starting block. 

The world fell silent for a moment before a beep echoed through the venue and Renjun felt his heart beating in his throat as Jeno entered the water.

Renjun hugged his legs tighter and his swivel chair shook at the movement. His focus zeroed on Jeno’s lane. He bit his lip harder as he watched Jeno slowly pick up his speed and steadily closed his gap with the other athletes. A flip turn and Jeno swam harder it almost as if Renjun could hear how hard the water splashed around him. Renjun squeezed his knees as Jeno started to lead the game. Jeno was closing the gap with the finish line with every stroke and Renjun held his breath. _A little faster. Please, a little faster._

And Renjun blinked. The camera focused on Jeno as he surfaced from the water under his starting block. The boy whipped his head around, watching as he was the first one to finish the game.

The same voice came back to declare Jeno Lee as men's 100 metre freestyle gold medalist and Renjun's body sagged into the backrest of his swivel chair. He breathed, properly for the first time today.

.

14

Jeno gave his first medal to Renjun.

Renjun remembered it as a casual talk, when the hustle of the local swimming pool started to die down and so did the summer heat as the sky began to turn into a warm shade of orange.

Renjun was sitting at the swimming pool ladder, sipping his apple juice box as he caught the swimming pool staff guy eyeing them from where he was collecting the pool tubes at the kid area, most likely judging he and Jeno seemed to have no indication to leave at all. Well, Renjun couldn't careless. Not when the warmth of the afternoon sun felt so nice on his naked wet back.

“What do you want for your birthday present?” Jeno had asked suddenly, he surfaced from the water and swam closer to Renjun. The latter turned his attention to Jeno and hummed long, contemplating as he bit the straw of his apple juice box.

“I don't know,” Renjun eventually replied, teeth playing with the straw.

Jeno scrunched his nose, not pleased with Renjun's answer. “How can you don't know?” he said before he dove in again and swam to the other part of the swimming pool.

Renjun watched Jeno swim as he moved his legs under the water. The afternoon sunlight penetrated the pool and made Renjun’s limbs form splotches of lights. Jeno swam back to him and the water rippled around his thighs.

“Still don't know what you want to get for your birthday present? Come on I'm offering,” Jeno urged in between running his fingers through his hair and swipe his face off from water.

Chlorine thick in the air and Renjun watched as Jeno’s black hair glistened. Somehow he managed to blurt out, “What about your first medal?”

Jeno's hand came to a complete halt from combing his hair. He trained his eyes on Renjun and then past him, deliberating on the weird idea. The frown that formed deep on Jeno’s forehead had Renjun instantly realized the dumbest thing that just came out of his mouth and was about to take back what he just said when Jeno beat him to it with a nod. Eyesmiles adorned his face. “Fine.” 

“What?” Renjun had to put down his apple juice box.

“I'll win the competition and give it to you after I show it to my parents.”

Renjun shook his head, not missing a beat. “No, I was joking Jeno.”

Renjun, in fact, was joking. His answer earlier was vomited out of his unconsciousness, it was out of his mouth faster than his brain could digest it first. He had been staying too long in the swimming pool and had been breathing too much chlorine from accompanying Jeno self training this Sunday that it affected his brain.

“I’m serious though,” said Jeno nonchalantly, he glanced at Renjun from where he was floating in his back, slowly swimming backwards.

Renjun opened his mouth but nothing came out of it. He ended up brushing it with a quick “Whatever” before he sighed and shook his head because Renjun sure they both would forget it once they left this place. It was now summer. Renjun's birthday was still next year—months away and the first tournament Jeno meant was the local swimming tournament held by their district spring next year. It was a long time from now and no way Jeno would give his first medal to him if he did win the tournament because who would in their right mind would ever give their medal, their first medal moreover, for someone else to own.

No athlete would let their first medal be owned by someone else, willingly, for free, as a freaking birthday present. That was as far as Renjun knew.

Except, Jeno did remember their whole casual talk, which he apparently did not consider casual at all, and managed to win the third place of the local swimming pool tournament.

Renjun was there on the tribune, in the middle of the crowd of their classmates who also came to support Jeno’s first tournament. They cheered as the medal was being put around Jeno’s neck and Jeno waved the medal back at them.

Jeno gave his medal later at night on the same day. He knocked at Renjun’s house and it opened by Renjun’s mom who congratulated him for his win and followed by Renjun’s dad who shook his hand and squeezed his shoulder before they let him climb the stairs to Renjun’s bedroom.

Renjun didn't even have the chance to say a thing when he opened the door as Jeno immediately pulled his right hand out of his pocket and opened all his fingers to let the medal fall right in front of Renjun’s face.

“Your birthday present,” Jeno declared, he played with the white ribbon tangled around his fingers. “Sorry, I'm a bit late.”

Renjun opened his mouth but nothing came out of it. He stared at Jeno and at the bronze medal and back at Jeno again who was smiling solemnly as if he didn't just say and did something ridiculous.

“You are kidding,” Renjun breathed out.

“What? No. This is your birthday present from me like what you asked back then.” Jeno shoved the medal closer to Renjun and Renjun looked at it swaying from right to left for a moment. It glinted under the hallway lamps and Renjun screamed but immediately slapped his mouth shut before he grabbed Jeno’s wrist and pulled him to his room.

“Can I touch it?” Renjun asked, back against the closed door.

“Of course, it's yours now.”

Renjun took the medal from Jeno’s hand and ran his fingers on the carved surface and along its ribbon before he paused. His eyebrows furrowed.

“Hey Jeno, is it okay though? I mean I wasn't serious when I asked for this and this is your first medal...” Renjun’s word tapered down before he continued, “I don't think I—”

“No, it's okay. You can have it. I have shown it to my parents and they also didn't mind when I told them that I was going to let you own the medal.”

“But it's not proper—I’m—you are the one who won the game not me. It should be precious to you. You should keep it instead of me”

“It is precious to me, Jun,” Jeno gently intoned, “so I want you to keep it for me.” Jeno’s voice grew smaller and he sounded embarrassed. Renjun only frowned deeper.

“I mean, It's not like I give it to you because I think it wasn't precious. I give it to you because it is and I want you to accept it as a form of thank you from me. For encouraging me to step into the water for the first time and... being a nice friend?”

There was a short pause before Renjun broke into a fit of giggle at the last part and at how Jeno’s neck was blooming scarlet.

“Yeah, I'm that nice friend,” Renjun said between his giggle. “But are you sure? Are you sure you believe I won't end up selling this and use the cash for my pocket money?”

Jeno huffed a laugh but then he glanced at Renjun, unwavering and collected. “You won't.”

Renjun gripped Jeno’s medal a little tighter and smiled. “Right, I won't.”

The next day Renjun bought a corkboard and set it up on the wall on top of his desk. He hung Jeno’s medal there and Renjun didn't intend it at all, but it became the first thing he saw when he entered his room and the last thing he saw when he was about to sleep.

.

17

“I jammed my fingers on the lane rope today.”

“Old habit die hard, huh,” Renjun chuckled as he fixed his phone between his shoulder and his ear, both his hands were occupied in cleaning his desk from papers and textbooks. In the other line Jeno grunt disagreed.

“How was the camp?” Renjun inquired as he sat on his swivel chair. He pulled out his algebra note from his bag and finally got a grab on his phone in his hand.

“We had daily training sessions at the pool, some sort of mental training sessions and workshops to help athletes understand more about sports’ physiology and training.”

“That sounds hella fun.” Renjun tried his best to not burst out laughing.

“You have no idea. I felt like I could fall asleep anywhere at any second except at the pool,” Jeno replied. Renjun could hear Jeno shuffling from where he was probably currently laying in his bed.

“If I said I'm jealous would that make you feel better?” Renjun simpered, he twirled the pen with his fingers, the opened tip scratched a line on the blank page of his notebook.

“Probably.”

Renjun began by letting out an overdramatic sigh. “I'm jealous you get to do those fun activities and swim everyday and here I am dealing with algebra test. That's it. You feel good now?”

“Better. A little.” Renjun could hear Jeno’s smile from the other line.

There was a pause hanging between them. Jeno’s steady breath mingled with the usual city’s din from outside Renjun’s room and it was nice. Late night phone calls were something they normally do when Jeno was away in training camp for competitions or athletes workshops. It usually only ended when Jeno dozed off in the middle because the fatigue beat him or when Renjun dozed off because of the same reason. Juggling school, assignments, part-time job and being part of the school council took a toll on him most of the time.

“Sleep, Jeno,” Renjun whispered, “you have to take care of your sleeping schedule.” He let go of his pen and instead used his hand to prop his chin. He glanced up at Jeno’s medals hanging neatly above his desk.

“You too,” Jeno whispered back, voice muffled by the pillow.

“I have to study algebra for tomorrow.”

“I know.”

Renjun chose to listen to Jeno’s breathing instead of answering though it did nothing but made him start to feel sleepy.

“Lee Jeno,” Renjun called softly. 

Jeno only hummed in response. “What?” he managed to croak out.

“I miss you.”

“Me too.”

It didn't take too long until all Renjun could hear was Jeno’s soft snore. He took his abandoned pen and hung up the call but not before he wished Jeno sweet dreams.

.

13

Jeno fell in love with swimming before he fell in love with Renjun.

As a matter of fact, Jeno hated water. He hated getting wet and the smell of chlorine made him lightheaded. And Renjun was just there, summer heat sizzling around the newly opened local swimming pool, holding out his hand to Jeno, offering him a name and an assurance that there was nothing bad about water and being in it.

Renjun swam better than Jeno. Jeno watched and thought of how Renjun's strokes were gorgeous and felt his body itch to have the water hugged his body in the same manner it hugged Renjun’s. He heard the water splashing around and how it glittered under the sunlight. Renjun was in the middle of the pool and he was also glittering, almost blinding.

Every fibre of Jeno’s being was craving to dive into the glittering liquid at that very moment. His small toes curled on the warm cobblestone beside the swimming pool, mulling over the idea of entering the water. It only took Renjun to obnoxiously splash water on him for Jeno to finally give in. He chased Renjun to take his revenge but failed because Renjun was a better and faster swimmer than him.

When Renjun teased him about it and provoked him, despite there being no bite at all, Jeno was determined to surpass the other boy’s skill. By the time there were only a week left of summer break, Jeno managed to catch up to Renjun’s pace and took his long overdue revenge by grabbing him by the waist to stop him. They splashed water on each other and only stopped when they heard angry whistles from the pool guard.

Jeno only got better after that and in no time gained the upper hand over Renjun.

“See, water ain't so bad.” Renjun had said to him after they filed out from the local swimming pool. Summer break had come to an end as the sun leaning down ever so slowly, leaving the sky in gorgeous swatch of violet.

Jeno only nodded. He looked at his slightly tanned arms where the summer sun kissed them gently and smiled. Summer break was over but somehow he was much happier than when it started.

.

18

There was a time when Jeno had to take a break from swimming for months.

Severe shoulders impingement. Those words were not strange in Jeno’s ears, in fact he was completely aware of what it was and what caused it (he paid attention to all of the workshops he attended after all). But still, his heart dropped to his stomach when he heard the doctor announced that he couldn't use his arms for a while because of the said injury. Even more when his coach decidedly and regrettably declared to him right after they got back from the hospital that he couldn't fit to participate in the upcoming competition with his current condition. The very competition he had been working very hard for over the last months, the very competition that had him overworked himself and led him to this injury.

Renjun was the last one to know about it, after his coach and his parents, and it was only because Jeno accidentally dropped his lunch tray in the middle of the school cafeteria when suddenly he felt a sharp pain on his shoulders.

The thought of hiding his current condition from Renjun was never crossed Jeno’s mind at all. To tell the truth, Jeno wanted to tell the other boy as soon as he met him, but the dark under Renjun’s eyes was hard to not notice and he swallowed the words back. The truth revealed itself not longer than two days later, nonetheless, and the pain on his shoulders was nothing compared to the look of mixed horror and betrayal in Renjun’s eyes.

Renjun was furious, and it wasn't because he learnt the fact that he was the last one to know, but because Jeno overworked himself when he had promised Renjun to not to. Renjun wasn't answering him for the rest of the day after that, but still helped Jeno to walk to their class and carried their bags when they walked back home later.

The next day, Renjun apologized to Jeno, for he was so selfish and didn’t think of his feelings. Renjun realized that right now Jeno needed emotional support more than anything else. Jeno said it's okay and that he was getting better and in no time he will be back in the swimming pool again. He was so convincing in saying those words but Renjun knew better than that. There was nothing that changed about his whole demeanor but Renjun didn't miss the loss of particular glint in Jeno’s eyes. It was unapparent to someone else, but Renjun had acquired some sort of familiarity with those eyes after knowing the boy for longer than he could remember. That he only needed to look straight into them and could immediately notice something was missing.

Renjun chose to not think much about it because he knew Jeno also didn't want to be pitied. Instead they spent the day just as usual and even got back to their routine before Jeno got busy with training. It was nice when they could hang out together after school and on weekends, when Jeno could eat his favorite chinese take-outs as much as he wanted, not being interrupted with his tight training schedule or diet when the competition season was coming.

When they hung out in Renjun’s room, right then Jeno just realized how it had been so long since the last time he came here, playing with Renjun, looking at how his medals hang nicely on Renjun’s corkboard, or work on their assignments together on the wooden floorboard, book and papers scattered everywhere and dozed off at some point together in Renjun’s bed. How he had become so busy chasing his dreams that he forgot how life was when what he had were school, Renjun, and their local swimming pool. No tight schedule training, no overseas competitions or workshops.

“Jun,” Jeno called after he turned around from staring at his medals. Renjun was splaying in his bed, hands high in the air, opening the classic novel they just borrowed from the school library for their literature assignment. A stripe of afternoon sunlight fell onto Renjun’s presence as breeze wafted through his hair and couple of his strands fell gracefully in front of his eyes.

Renjun put the book down and shifted his gaze to Jeno without moving from his position. This way, Renjun glowed under the afternoon sunlight and Jeno thought about glittering swimming pool, summer a couple years ago.

Jeno thought about how it all started with Renjun—he became a swimmer. How it was so easy for Renjun to assure him and made him like the water in his own way. What Jeno would be now if Renjun wasn't there under the sizzling summer, in the middle of the newly opened local swimming pool, sun shined unapologetically and he was there holding out his hand for Jeno to take. Jeno didn't even remember why he was there when he hated water and didn't even know how to swim properly in the first place.

His memories of life before that day were blur, Renjun was the only thing that vivid.

“What? Done catching up with your medals?” Renjun laughed and it did weird things to Jeno’s heart.

Jeno didn't answer, instead he closed the gap between him and Renjun’s bed and sat on the wooden floorboard near where Renjun’s head was. Renjun moved to lay on his side and looked at Jeno who rested his chin on the side of the bed, and closer, Renjun's brown eyes turned into a shade of caramel under the sunlight. Jeno couldn't take his eyes away.

“Thank you,” Jeno said, voice low and tender. He reached out to tuck a strand of Renjun's hair behind his ear.

“For what?” Renjun raised his eyebrows, a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth as he leaned into Jeno’s touch. 

Jeno didn't answer immediately, instead he hummed as he studied Renjun's features. The apples of his cheeks, the slope of his nose, his long eyelashes, his cupid bow, his lips, and back to his caramel eyes. He locked them with his and said.

“Everything.”

Renjun breathed a soft giggle and pat Jeno’s cheek. “No need to thank me anything.” 

Jeno leaned into the touch and they basked in each other’s warmth.

“I'm sorry,” Jeno swallowed, “I didn't keep my promise,” he added, guilt thick in his voice. It was silent then, the breeze entered through the open window behind Jeno. The curtain rustled softly as it danced with the breeze.

Renjun rose up from his position and shuffled closer to cup Jeno’s face. His thumbs grazed the apples of Jeno’s cheeks and he bent down a bit to be closer to Jeno.

“Hey," he intoned softly, "I'm sorry too for being mad at you. And I'm sorry this happened to you. I know not even you wanted this to happen,” Renjun inhaled and continued, “I just want you to be fine and healthy more than anything, Jeno. You are an athlete. Your body is your greatest asset. You know your body best and I know you know when to stop and when it's enough. I believe you.”

Jeno listened as his eyes transfixed on Renjun's. There he found nothing but a sense of familiarity and comfort and he instantly felt this longing again. Maybe this was what he needed when his head was consuming him, when he was too preoccupied with the desire to win, win, and only win. He lost balance and forgot the way to get it back. Forgot that he had Renjun by his side, who would always be just an arm away every time he needed ears to listen, shoulders to lean on, a warm hug he needed when the water of the swimming pool was too cold at nights he forced himself to train a little bit more.

Jeno didn't know why suddenly Renjun rushed to sit on the floor next to him and wrap his arms around his shoulders to pull him into the crook of his neck. He breathed Renjun's scent and only then realized he was sobbing into Renjun's uniform.

Renjun didn't say anything, his hand rubbed Jeno’s back, up and down along his spine, and the other cradled his hair. The end of the strands were dry and damaged from being too much in contact with chlorinated water and Renjun’s heart clenched. He let a small tear fall from the corner of his eye when he felt Jeno sank into the hug, shoulders caving in, like he hadn't been hugged in years.

Jeno wrapped his arms around Renjun's middle and his trembling fingers squeezed the fabric of his uniform. He sobbed harder and for once, felt grounded than he had ever been after so long.

.

21

On the night before Jeno off to Gwangju, he decided to cheat on his diet and planned to order his favorite chinese take-outs with Renjun. The latter was against it at first, reminding him that the competition was weeks away. But Jeno insisted and whined at his ears and clung to Renjun's arm and just being endearingly annoying until Renjun eventually agreed.

They eat in Renjun’s room as they watch a biographical movie about the life of a woman figure skater. Albeit the different sports, Jeno could relate for the most part of it especially when it showed the competition scenes; the nervousness, anxiety, the joy of winning the first place, the agony when she realized she could’ve done better, they were resonated with Jeno to a great extent.

Jeno had finished his food just as the movie reached its conflict and leaned his head on Renjun's shoulder who seemed to be more immersed with the movie than Jeno. He tilted his head to watch Renjun's face briefly. The dim lighting allowed the light from Renjun's laptop to illuminate his features. Renjun looked softer like this and his eyes were so big Jeno could see the movie reflected on them.

They stayed in their positions as the ending soundtrack started to play; Jeno’s head on Renjun's shoulder and Renjun leaned back against his bed. The wrappers and plates scattered around them yet none of them moved even after minutes had passed.

The movie credit song still playing when Renjun croaked out, “Jeno? You sleep?”

Jeno slowly rose from his position and stretched. The distant city’s din still could be heard, slipping into the room through the slightly ajar window along with the soft gust of night breeze. Jeno felt sleepy and he was about to open his mouth to answer Renjun but the words vanished just as he caught sight of the latter.

Some of Renjun’s hair were matted to his forehead and his head was tilted too far toward the top of his bed that it allowed Jeno to catch a sight of his long neck. and lower, the collarbone peeking out from the loose collar of Renjun’s t-shirt had Jeno’s mind blank almost instantly. Jeno looked away but then met with the red of Renjun's lips in the process, credit to the hot and sour glass noodles he just finished right when the third act of the movie ended.

“Hey, you okay?” Renjun inquired without moving from his position. Jeno starred as Renjun's eyes raked over his face and went back to meet his eyes. A distant car horn was heard and as if on cue Renjun slowly rose from his position and moved closer.

The gust of night breeze and Renjun’s fingers brushed along the line of Jeno’s chiseled jaw, down to his chin, and Jeno was so spellbound at the way the dim light from where Renjun’s laptop still playing the credit of the movie danced delicately over the side of his face. Jeno held his breath as Renjun's thumb stopped above his lower lip and shivers ran down and up Jeno’s spine when the other boy tentatively pulled it down just slightly.

Renjun leaned closer until the end of their noses touched and their breaths mingled. Jeno swallowed, he was hesitant at first but then slightly tilted his head to nuzzle his nose into Renjun’s. Renjun's hand moved to the side of his neck and Jeno’s heart was racing faster than he ever knew it could when he saw Renjun closed his eyes and finally closed the small gap.

The first touch of Renjun’s lips against his was cautious, tentative, like small ripples of waves against the seashore. Renjun pressed deeper and began to move his lips ever so slightly. His nails scrapped Jeno's nape as he captured Jeno’s upper lip but only for so long before Renjun harshly pulled away.

Renjun was still close enough for Jeno to feel his breath fanning over his lips. His eyes raked over Jeno’s face and he moved a tad bit farther as he blinked rapidly like he had just realized something. Renjun parted his lips, words were about to spill out of him but Jeno didn't want the moment to be ruined so he rushed forward to connect their lips again.

They sighed at the contact and Renjun wasted no time to move closer and wrapped his arms around Jeno’s neck, leading him deeper to their kiss. On the other hand, Jeno's hands rubbed Renjun's knees before he hooked his hands at the back of them and placing them at either sides of his thighs as Renjun’s short rode up too high in the process. Renjun gasped against Jeno’s mouth at the sudden movement and mindlessly captured Jeno’s bottom lip and sucked it. Jeno groaned, hands found their place on Renjun's waist and squeezed Renjun there before he did the same exact thing to Renjun, he licked his bottom lip and sucked it until Renjun let out a deep groan.

Renjun broke the kiss first, he pulled away only to see Jeno chasing his lips, eyes half-lidded, lips red and swollen temptingly. Renjun was weak. He leaned in and locked their lips once more in one ardent kiss before pulling away.

Renjun let his head fall on Jeno’s shoulder, one hand rest on his pec and the other cling onto the fabric on the back of Jeno’s t-shirt. Jeno’s hands were still secure at the small of his back and they stayed like that for a while, trying to catch their breaths. The movie was completely over, night was getting late, the distant city’s din had morphed into quite noises far away from Renjun’s room and Jeno’s mind was still buzzing. The warmth of Renjun’s lips still linger on his. 

“What was that?” Jeno broke the silence once their breaths had evened out, voice hoarse and low.

Renjun buried his face further into Jeno’s neck. “Nothing,” he said, voice muffled against Jeno's t-shirt, “just been wanting to kiss you since i don't know? High school?”

“What?”

“Don't pretend like you didn't hear it!”

Jeno huffed a laugh at that. “Since high school?”

Renjun whined and off from his lap completely. He looked around, avoiding Jeno’s gaze, and started to clean up their rubbish, ignoring Jeno who was calling him in teasing tone yet didn't try to shake Jeno’s hold on his elbow when the latter tugged him to sit back next to him. Jeno removed the balled aluminium foil from Renjun’s palm and replaced it by interlacing their fingers.

There was a comfortable silence hanging around the air between them. Jeno opened his palm to slot their fingers more snugly and smiled when Renjun followed the gesture.

“Jeno.”

“Hm?” Jeno glanced up, squeezing Renjun's palm and felt the latter squeezed back.

“I love you,” Renjun muttered. He looked up from where he'd been watching their interlaced fingers, holding Jeno's gaze and firmly repeated, “I love you.”

Somehow, the confession didn't come out as a surprise for Jeno. It has always been a distant thought that crossed his mind in small moments he spent with Renjun over the past years that it would happen sooner or later. Either if the word would come out from his mouth first or the other way around. Either if they wouldn't say the word after ten years or more. Either if they got into a handful of relationships first before they ended up with each other.

Perhaps it was because Renjun was the first thing he was sure about in his life, his earliest memory that vivid. He looked at Renjun between his trainings when the boy sat at one of the empty benches, eyes looking down at his book to keep him company, between their study session at the library, between their walk home after school, between eating their chinese take-outs, when he was there in the middle of newly open local swimming pool years ago, sunlight formed a golden ring around him, and he just knew he would always be next to him for as long as Renjun wanted him to be.

Jeno kissed the back of Renjun's hand, right at his birthmark and kept his lips there.

“I love you too,” Jeno said against Renjun’s skin.

It was easy. Because Jeno had always known. Maybe Renjun did too but it would be a story for another day. Right now they had rubbish to clean, dishes to wash, and more kisses to share before the day changed and Jeno had to be away for a while from Renjun's side.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope that was okay? hahah i meant to make a /full-scale fic/ but i dont have the time and the skill to give justice to the idea so i decided to just write the /fun/ parts only lol thanks for reading! and hv a nice day!


End file.
